A New Start

I think it's time for me to write again. There have been plenty of incredible views since last I wrote publicly - a whole world of them - but I guess I've just been more focused on living life than observing and reflecting. There are no words that adequately describe the joy of baby goats.

However, looking at what's going on in the world right now, and what I'm doing with myself, and where I want to be down the line, there is something to be said. At present Facebook is my only connection to the Occupy Wall Street movement, but I am excited by what I hear, particularly since this movement, of the many, has finally gotten the media attention and thus endorsement. With unclear demands and unclear ways to address those demands, I'm not sure what's going to happen on Wall Street, but I think (hope) there is too much momentum for the movement to just die. We are the ones that we've been waiting for, and we're finally taking a stand. I wholeheartedly agree with the orientation of this protest against corporate power and greed. From seeds to shops, from cars to kicks, Americans are continually denied the freedom of choice we believe we have. I will forever remember watching a documentary in college that included some C-SPAN footage in which a Congressman said that putting mileage limits on cars would limit the car companies' right to choose how they design cars. I couldn't help but wonder about my right to buy a car with good mileage. I can get over 30 mpg on my 1998 Honda Civic - it boggles my mind that I'm not seeing ads for gas-powered cars that get at least 40 mph these days. But so it is. Corporations got freed of their requirement to serve the public interest, and then gained all the rights of people with none of the responsibilities. I'm all for encouraging groups of people to do more than individuals could have done alone or independently, and at its simplest a corporation is really just a body of people. But one gone unhinged, too ambitious, too hubristic. I've had the opportunity to watch a few organizations grow, and time and again basic principles are compromised for growth, and that's where things go downhill.

So what we need out there are more idealistic dreamers, who are going to imagine our future and stick to their guns (or pitchforks) on bringing about that change. I like to imagine I'm one of those dreamers, a revolutionary, but not a fighter. I'm non-confrontational; I'd rather nurture the revolution than fight it (or for it). I'd like to emulate my idol, Ella Baker, and the countless other organizers who have provided the support and growth and encouragement that people have needed to stand up for what they believe in and what they want and need. I don't think I will follow in Baker's steps, directly, and certainly not as much as I once dreamed. But I'm still taking a page from her book. In an interview she once said: "[our family] had had the privilege of growing up where they’d raised a lot of food. They were never hungry. They could share their food with people. And so, you share your lives with people." Their garden empowered the family, and helped build their community, but fewer and fewer people have those gardens these days, and I want to change that.

When I try to imagine what I want to do when I grow up, I get caught up on the part where I'm supposed to make money, to cover my expenses and to support myself. My expenses are minimal but there are insurances, bills... I just want to serve. I want to grow food to support myself, my family, and my community. I want to grow food to build community. I'm the one who, when everyone is starting to get cranky, brings out the snacks. Now I'm just taking it one step further, trying to guarantee that those snacks, and everything else that my people are eating, are quality, by starting at the source, the root. I could probably design something where I took money from rich people (through purchases, donations) to be able to provide for the people who can't afford what I've got to offer. But I don't want to Robin Hood it because I don't want to be dependent on there being rich people. I want to create a system that tries to change the world as it is, and can continue to exist in the world as I want it to be. Unfortunately, that I want my system to engage with the world, to be of the world, rather than a commune apart from it, may, I fear, necessitate my participation in the capitalist economy.

Not that I ever have or could have completely checked out of the capitalist economy. But I have more than most people. I ran away from the "world," as it were, in February 2010, and I've kept running. Only now, instead of running away from an unfulfilling life, I'm running to a fulfilling life. At Heifer Ranch, I all but found what I was looking for, but ultimately that was just a chance to show me what is possible. I just have to dream it, and commit to building it. So here is where I shall muse about my dreams, while engaging with the events of the world. The interconnected web is beneath our feet and in our hands and in our minds.